when you did have an orgasm, was it just from intercourse, or using your clit?

i used to have an orgasm from sex and fore play, then i had an abortion which was 3yrs agoand, i never wanted much sex, and even now i get turned on but dont just get an orgasm. it is strange, cos i really want to enjoy sex like i used to, and he even tries oral sex, i like it but it doesnt make have an orgasm.

what age are you?

i am 22yrs old, and he is 30yrs old, and he really likes having sex but he wants me to enjoy it

It's very common for a woman to be less interested in sex after an abortion. It's to do with the psychological effects of the abortion and the emotions then associated with sex and perhaps some feelings of guilt and shame.
Generally these feelings lessen over time, usually after a few months. In your case, since its been three years, that seems less likely. But still, you seem to be able to pinpoint the change in ability to orgasm through sex to the time you had the abortion, so it must be related somehow.

It may be that you still harbour some negative feelings for sex connected to the abortion, so you may want to re-examine how you feel about it, maybe talk it through with your partner.

After that, you can look at it from a physical point of view. So these are the questions you should try to answer:
1. Do you feel pleasure / have an orgasm when stroking your clit / g-spot on your own?
2. As above, but with your partner?

Yes, i feel pleasure when he strokes my clit, and even when he gives me oral sex, some times i get close to having an orgasm, but i dont. I get in the mood to have sex sometimes, but in the middle of the pleasure i get disconnected and just lay back till it is over.

I dont know why it is happening this way, i really want to have an orgasm when having sex, and also enjoy it,

Do u have any suggestion to sex position that could help stimulate this, and also tips on how u can help me. Plssss

Before i give you tips or positions, we'll try to isolate the problem.

You're having trouble orgasming with your partner. But can you have an orgasm on your own? By any means?

Before i could have an orgasm on my own, but now i get close to having it but it does not come. so i think i have a problem. Please assist me

Ok well then, for now I think forget about having an orgasm with your partner and just try on your own. Sometimes having a partner there can affect how you respond sexually, even though you might not realise.

Ok now, here's an important point about getting to orgasm with your clit. You say you relax, which is important to do. BUT, when you stroke your clit, you should TENSE your PC muscle. What's your PC muscle? The one between your legs, it's shown as the thick black band in the diagram below:

To get to orgasm while stroking your clit, tense this muscle.

Also, even though you're trying on your own, set the scene in the same way you would with a partner - have a bath, dim lights, candles, music, massage etc - foreplay works with yourself as well!

Thanks i will try this, but do u think they could have destroyed any of any organs that will make me have an orgasm, during the course of the abortion??? This is what i have always had in my mind..Please tell me

It is possible, although quite unlikely. It's much more likely that your problem is psychological. Maybe trying different techniques will help you get over the problem.Did you have any bleeding (not menstrual) after the abortion?

I did not have any unusual bleeding, after the abortion just a little blood came out, and i guess that was the remaining blood from the one they removed. I have tried other positions, i get a little feeling and then it all goes away. Is it possible for me to massage my G-spot by my own self? Cos i have tried it and it does not take me anywhere. Is it possible that i am not doing it the right way?

It's difficult for a woman to properly massage her own g-spot... do a web search for "g-spot massager" ... that's what you need