Can't Get Hard For Her
Okay im really embarrassed about this so please dont laugh :/ im a 17 year old lad 6 foot 1 and about 10 stone and reasonably fit as i play football (soccer) and im totally in love with my girlfriend. We were going to have sex for the first time last week, it was my first with anyone and she has had sex once before. But anyway we were in my room and after and lengthy period of touching and kissing we both got into bed and got naked but then i could not get erect. I tryed and tryed to make my penis hard but it would not work. So I lied and said that the condom had split and i didnt have another. I masturbate without any problem on a regular basis sometimes two or three times a day and i have no problem getting hard then and its not that i dont find my girlfriend attractive because she has sent me pictures that i frequently masturbate over so shes not the problem. Does anybody have any advice for me i really need help shes away on holiday and were planning to have sex the day she gets back and thats less than a week away :( please help me!
Oh thanks for the reply mate ill give it a try thanks for that
ill comment back after the "time" and let you know if your tips worked
Ya.. in fact the initial reply is quiet on the point..
See, Mr Footballer
its very true.. sex.. err.. Love Making.. does not happen between the legs.. but between the ears..
For premature ejaculation (in my case) i reaaaaallly had to excercise LOT of mind control..
In your case, too, I think there are lots of "thoughts" cluttering your mind..
Whereas, i shouldn't say it, please dont take it otherwise, but I think you are unnecessarily thinking about her "been there done that"
Let me tell you... the more you think.. the more it becomes unacheivable..
Just relax and let emotins of pleasure and love work..
Have you ever "tasted" her.. as parting advice.. may I suggest that you brush up a bit on eating her..
Let her orgasm that way, and then when you rise, you can lubricate yourself and enter her.. hold yourself "IN" her.. get the feel of it, it would be much diff than masturbating.. then slowly start stroking..
Let us know how it goes:-) All the best!!
i had the same problem me and my gf fooled around alot at her condo and one day went to the moves and she wanted to give me head but i wasnt hard since i was harded the whole weekend like i would get hard 5 times in one day b/s we just fooled around just dont look at her naked pics or masturbate for adlest one week. IT works!!!!!!
Im totally in love with a boy. Ive known him for 4 years and we were good friends for 2 of them.
We had sex for the first time a few weeks ago, and it was so over whelming.
He had sex with his ex prolly 10 times a week, and I honestly know Im more attractive then her.
He couldnt get erect for most of it, and I know its because of the anxiety issue. Also, we have known eachother for so long, it was strange for it to actually happen.
No matter what though, I didnt think any less of him, and I could care less if we have sex or not. Talk to her about it.. if she loves you, it shouldnt be a big deal.
Your problem is purely psychological.
If you can get hard through masturbation, there is no physical problem.
What happened is performance anxiety; quite common for first time sex, and indeed for first time sex with a new partner.
The problem is this: you are so focused on the sex act itself, you cannot think about anything else during foreplay. So you think and think about just intercourse. But the problem is, now, as a man, you are expected to perform. This expectation and anticipation leads to worry, nervousness and stress. Eventually, after lots and lots of foreplay, during which time your nervousness built up and up, the stress caused the increase of your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight), which is associated with high tension, in turn leading to loss of erection.
It's the ultimate sexual irony: you masturbate over pictures of her, but then when she's naked beside you, you can't get an erection.
So the solution is simple: relax.
Relax right now, and during foreplay. Don't focus on thinking about penetration. Just have fun, enjoy the whole experience. Stroke her clit and give her an orgasm first, that will help your confidence.
When it comes to penetration, don't get worked up and tense, just relax and let it flow naturally. Take your time.