After I ejaculate, I get angery. I wanna change
Sun, 01/24/2010 - 15:45
Ok, this is a problem that has always bothered me, but I felt I couldnt do anything about it but tough it out.
When I ejaculate, everytime wether it be sex or masturbation, when I finish this huge feeling of anger hits me and I get very upset when my gf makes advances on me like cuddling or kissing and I withdraw from her. Normally I love nothing more than cuddling or getting close to my gf, it means the world to me, but after I ejaculate that changes fast and the feeling normally lasts about 30mins to a few hours. I dont want to treat girls like they are just a quick hi and goodbye, I want to shake this feeling cuz its ruining my love life. Any advise?
After ejaculation it's common to experience various emotions and feelings - love, guilt, bonding, warmth, sadness.
Since you only experience anger at this time, it's clear it's a physiological change triggered by ejaculation. So you should have a talk with your girl and explain what's happening - particularly that these feelings of anger are not meant to be directed at her.
During sexual activity, your body produces dopamine (a pleasure / reward neurotransmitter). After you ejaculate, dopamine production reduces dramatically and it's replaced by prolactin. Usually this induces feelings of sleepiness or cuddling.
In your case it may be the lack of dopamine which causes your anger. You could try to replace the dopamine lull with some chocolate or your favourite food. (ps. maybe don't bring bbq ribs into bed.)
Another possibility is a previous negative sexual experience. Such events can have a dramatic effect on your sex life, years or even decades afterwards. The same rollercoaster of neurochemicals released during sex can trigger a range of negative emotions and memories. In this case, seeking a local counsellor would be best.