Heard it all before?

I know what you're thinking. Foreplay. I know how to do that. But there's always something, somewhere you can learn. Are you aware of the importance of teasing? Can you foreplay talk your partner into acting out your wishes? No one is an expert. Not even us. If you have any foreplay ideas, even any little quirky or tempting tidbits, let us know and we'll print it here.

Why Foreplay?

Generally guys tend to want to skip over foreplay to get straight to sex. If, for instance, you're a guy and you try to go straight to intercourse, first of all you're going to have physical problems. The vagina has erectile tissue (like the penis) which needs to fill with blood to accommodate penetration. Otherwise penetration will be difficult and uncomfortable. Without foreplay her vagina won't have secreted any natural lubricant either, making penetration difficult, painful and possibly causing small tears in the vaginal tissue. Not good.
On top of all this is the emotional readiness. If you try go straight from watching football to intercourse, you'll probably fail. Women like a lot of talking, mood setting and tenderness before sex. This gets her mind (the most important sexual organ, its often said) ready as well as her body.

Basic Foreplay

There's a million different ways you can foreplay. Here we'll give you some basic ideas, but invent your own. Let your imagination run wild.

Talking / seduction
Unless you have magical powers of silent seduction, chances are sex will begin with some kind of conversation. You can discuss the things you like about each other, the qualities you like or some nice things they've done in the past. You can talk about what you'd like to do, or discuss some fantasy you could have together - imagine yourselves as strangers meeting on a tropical island and how and where you'd get together for some hot beach sex. Take turns directing the story and see how long you can hold out. For more on talking see foreplay talk below.

Kissing
Never underestimate the power of the kiss. A deep, passionate kiss can work wonders for blood flow. And deep doesn't have to mean deep tonguing, just deep and passionate. Save the tongue bath for the clitoris. Look deep into her eyes, run your fingers through her hair and down across her cheeks. Also don't just do this before sex. Do it any time, in the middle of the day, on the bus, when you're saying goodbye. If you only kiss passionately when you want sex, your partner may see kissing as a signal that you just want sex, not kissing.
Spend a lot of time exploring kissing - nipping at lips and tongue, cheeks, earlobes, neck, fingers, hands, toes, the whole body.

Tickling
Which is a great way to lead to:

Massaging
Probably the best way to lead from foreplay to sex. Give your partner a long, soothing, gentle, all over body massage and you'll both be yearning for sex.
Concentrate on the back, neck and shoulders. As well as using your hands to soothingly caress these areas, lay down lots of kisses in between. For seriously good massaging, use massage oil, scented with your favourite fragrance. Its also fantastic for soothing aching muscles and keeping your body feeling good.
Stay away from genital areas initially. Massage the whole body, brush near the genitals if you like, but don't touch them yet. You want to tease, tease, tease:

Teasing

Sometimes a quickie can be great, but generally, the more time you spend foreplaying, teasing, and not touching any genital area, the more fantastic the sex will be. Think of it like winding up a spring. The more you wind it up, the more spring you're going to get out of it.
Say you're the woman and you want to tease your male partner. Spend a lot of time hugging and caressing his body, all over. Move close around his hips, legs, inner thighs. Brush over his penis but don't touch it. Go really close but don't touch! If he tries to drag your hands onto his penis, bat his hands away. Then keep going, teasing and teasing until you both can't stand it anymore. When you finally do touch him it'll be far more exciting for both of you.

For guys, use the same thing for your female partner. For instance, if you're planning on stroking her clitoris, the more time you spend caressing, massaging her whole body without touching her clit, the bigger the orgasm is going to be when you finally do touch her clit. Tease, tease, tease. Run your hands close to her clit and vagina but don't touch them directly. Do this for as long as you can. If she begs you to touch her clit or tries to drag your hand down there, don't. Don't give in. Tease her more.
So, here's a breakdown:

• foreplay, kiss, caress, massage
• brush your hands near her clit / labia / vagina but don't touch them directly
• massage hips, inner thighs, belly
• keep doing this for some time
• if she begs you to touch her clit, don't
• don't give in
• if she tries to drag your hand onto her clit, don't
• keep teasing and teasing and teasing
• finally, after lots of teasing, start stroking her clit

Every moment you delay contact with her clit makes her more aroused. The more you tease, the more worked up she'll be, the more her genital area will fill with blood, and the bigger her orgasm will be. More teasing = bigger orgasm

Is oral sex foreplay?

Many people see foreplay as any sex activity except intercourse. Oral sex, clit stimulation and mutual masturbation are considered foreplay by some. We, on the other hand, consider foreplay as anything that doesn't involve genital contact - kissing, talking, massaging, dancing, seducing, talking dirty, roleplay and so on. We consider anything that involves touching the genitals to be sex - oral sex, clit sex, manual sex (hands on genitals). Now we're not going to get into any extended argument about definitions, but we consider these to be 'main course' activities, not starters. Anything that has a good chance of leading to orgasm, we would consider 'sex', regardless of whether intercourse is involved. Some people may still believe that only intercourse can truly be called 'sex' - most likely the people who've never heard of the clitoris or the g spot.
So no, oral sex is not foreplay, its sex (we reckon). It's not called oral foreplay! By all means, have oral sex, but do it after lots of actual foreplay.

Foreplay Talk

Another interesting little idea is for one partner to control the foreplay verbally. One partner is the talker, one is the doer. Say you (the woman) are the talker. You sit down and start describing what you want him to do. Start with clothes on. At first tell him to do various non-sex things like walk around the room, move objects about, turn on music etc. Be as descriptive as possible. Then call him over to you and ask him to attend to your needs, massage you, kiss various parts of your body etc etc. Build up gradually to taking off one item of clothing at a time - slowly. You can keep this talk going right up through normal foreplay and into sex if you both agree to it.
Then next time you can reverse it. Say you (the man) are the talker and she is the doer. You sit down and direct her every move. Ask her to stand up, turn around, put her hands on her hips, rotate her hips slowly, then turn back to face you, crouch on the ground etc etc. Ask her to assume various poses you like, then call her over to dance in front of you - but no touching at first. Describe in detail what you want her to do. Again build slowly up to foreplay touching and keep the commands coming, right through into sex if you want.

To take this another step further, you can command your partner to SAY certain things rather than doing things. So, for instance, you (the man) say to your partner 'tell me you want me put my hand on your hip'. Then she says as much, and you continue, 'Now say you want me to run my hand up to your waist'. Go for it! You can do this right up to sex if you both want.
Yet another variation is to have talk-only foreplay about what you want to happen in the future, so for instance, you (the woman) say 'Tell me that when we get home, you want to lie me down and slowly massage my shoulders'. Then he has to say exactly that and you continue, 'now tell me that after the shoulder massage you want to run your fingers through my hair and kiss me deeply'. Keep talking and describing right up to sex if you want.
Because this type of foreplay talk doesn't have to involve any actual sex touching, you can start doing this out in public - its just talking! On a bus, in a park, nightclub, bar, restaurant etc.

Remember that women are more verbal than men so when it comes to sex or foreplay, talking can be an important part of the experience, and can result in more sex pleasure for both of you. Women also love to read about erotic encounters, and sex fantasies so you can read erotica together to give you ideas and discuss the things you like.

Roleplay

Another foreplay favourite. This can be done in the bedroom or started out in public if you feel like it. Pick roles for each other and act them out. The classic ones are pick up or seduction situations where one partner acts the role of say barworker and the other partner tries to pick her/him up. Do this in your bedroom, dress up, set up a bar on the table. Use your imagination. Take turns being the wooer and the wooed.
Other scenes might be co-workers meeting over the photocopier, boss / employee doing overtime together, doctor / patient examinations, etc etc. Dress up and go crazy! For serious roleplay foreplaying, dress up in your outfits and go out in public - bar / nightclub / restaurant / park / beach. Maintain your character the whole time, even when you get home.

Meeting as strangers

Another classic foreplay build up. No need to dress up for this one. Arrange to meet in a nightclub but pretend to not know each other. One partner has to seduce the other. Don't make it easy for her/him. Make them really work for it. Then when you finally let her/him onto you, be the horniest couple on the dance floor. Let the crowd stare and make them jealous!

Got any more foreplay ideas? Let us know