It's been noted by many that orgasm should not be seen as a goal to be reached. Sex can involve lots of different types of pleasures - foreplay, massage, talking, kissing, dancing together. The priorities are your relationship and your love for each other, and pleasure. Still, orgasm can be a really, really nice addition.
One of the nicest ways for women to orgasm is through G spot massage. If this doesn't suit you then the clit might work better for you. Most women can get to orgasm in minutes or less by stroking their clit themselves. Some women get to orgasm other ways, some don't orgasm at all. Everyone is different.
Women who do like g spot massage or clit sex usually find it more pleasurable than intercourse sex (clit sex and intercours can be combined). By and large the clit is a far more reliable way to reach female orgasm than any use of the penis.
Check for Female Orgasm
Lots of body signs accompany orgasm - tensing of muscles, flushing of skin, moaning and so on. However you can actually feel the orgasm as it happens by putting your finger / thumb into your partner's vagina (with her permission, nails clean and trimmed short). One inch inside is plenty.
During female orgasm the vagina contracts and expands five to ten times over a few seconds. Women have no control over the orgasmic contractions, as men have none over theirs. Once you feel the contractions - a light, repeating squeezing on your finger, that's orgasm.
Getting into more detail, the orgasmic contractions originate from two sources. One is the pelvic floor muscle (aka pubococcygeus muscle), which sits at the bottom of your pelvis (in women and men). You have voluntary control of this muscle, i.e., you can tense it at will, but during orgasm the muscle contacts involuntarily. The uterus (womb) can also contract during orgasm. Uterine orgasmic contractions feel deeper inside the body. According to sex researcher John D. Perry, during g spot orgasm both the uterus and the pelvic floor muscle contract, while during an orgasm from clitoral stimulation only the pelvic floor muscle contracts. He demonstrates this by recording the activity in the uterus and pelvic floor muscle during clitoral and g spot stimulation, showing the two forms of orgasm (check the fourth diagram down the page).
You can feel the difference by putting one finger inside your female partner's vagina and another on her perineum (the area between the anus and vagina). None of these contractions can be felt by a penis, as far as we're aware...
