Why do women enjoy it when you pick them up, and place them against the wall? Or why do they respond well to hair pulling? Are most woman Paraphilias?  The reason why I asked this is because when I have sex, the natural way I perform is by exploiting these tactics. I don't know if I should feel wrong, or disrespectful.

'Paraphilia' is a term generally used by psychologists to describe unusual or immoral sex activity. 'Philia' means to like or love something, 'para' means parallel to or in addition to. So paraphilia is traditionally seen as something seperate to normal sex, 'normal' meaning married heterosexual sex. The concept comes from a hundred years ago in Victorian times when anything other than hetero sex was seen as dirty, evil, unhealthy and sinful.

So using the word paraphilia today is not useful because there are so many sex behaviours and activities, and to try to categorize or tie down 'most' people to a single definition is pointless.

Every woman is different. Different women enjoy different sex and foreplay acts. Some women might not like to have their hair pulled, some women might.

From what you've written, I presume that you tried to be a little rough with your partner, and she didn't like it, got upset, and said you were disrespecting her.

Maybe you were with a previous partner who did like to play rough? But don't take this to mean that all women like that.

So finally, I would say that you should definitely be gentle with her at first. You will know soon enough whether she likes to play rough. But never push her into something or make her do something she doesn't want to do.